My mom's husband was super kind in offering his help in lifting up the ceiling in our 1980s kitchen and of course we said yes! Our kitchen ceiling was let's say "unique" with its florescent lights and spiffy plastic panels that creates the illusion that your in a spaceship. Totally Rad.
But after a full weekend of work, we still had a half finished kitchen. We still had mud dust falling on to our counter tops and this was about the point when I realized, "What the Who?! I forgot we are having a party on Thursday for my hot hubby's birthday!" (I know I should have realized, but my mind sometimes focuses soley on the present. It's the only way to prevent insanity, you know?) Anyway... Stress! But then again, they are our family and friends. They'll love us no matter what and they can live with a little dust in their birthday cake, right? So we're good.
I went about the beginning of this week cleaning the house, finishing up photography work, buying presents for my hot hubby (Happy Birthday Babe) and it wasn't until Wednesday night that I realized that we still hadn't done Valentines Boxes or cards. And this was at 9:30 at night!
Having four kids that needed them made, I was thrilled that my youngest Kate decided that she was good making her own with no help from mom. She came up with her own design. Cut the paper, glued it down. Everything from start to finish. I looked it over briefly as I was dashing between the other three helpless kids, looking for markers, cutting papers just right and designing fancy boxes and I decide that she had done an awesome job! She made a rainbow and everything. And after all, she is in kindergarten so how fancy should it really be.
It wasn't until I dropped her off at school this morning that I noticed just how much hers stuck out like a sore thumb. A sore thumb with a rainbow on it. Everyone had beautifully designed and executed boxes that looked like they could be bought at some designer craft box store (yes there might be such a place) and here was little Kate with her oatmeal box covered in what looked like scraps of miss shaped construction paper. Not a heart or trace of glitter to be found. I felt my heart drop for a second thinking that she was going to feel bad. But then I looked at her cute smooshy face and by George, she was proud! She had made that thing all on her own and we had told her nothing except for how awesome it was. And in that moment I realized that she truly had the best valentines box ever. She had made a box that had empowered her and channeled her creativity and expressed who she was. She had had fun making it too and I could have so easily screwed that up.
Case in point:
As she was finishing up her box the night before, I was busy telling Jack how much trouble he was in for losing a part of his box's design that I had purchased (yes spent money on!) and how now it wasn't going to look good. Mind you, this is after I had already changed his design to mine because "it would be better" and I had taking the scissors out of his hands a couple times to make sure the cuts were right. He looked at me with his wise eyes and said, "so I don't get to do anything for my box?"
Man, don't you hate when they are right.
Letting go a little and allowing your children to explore, get hurt, take risks, discover and make a shotty Valentine's box is really what I want to do for my kids. This world is such a protected place for our kids that they aren't allowed to do anything. I'd hate to be the mom that doesn't let them explore where it's safe, like our home, just because I'm afraid they might get hurt emotionally. I hope that I can start letting my kids experience life as it should be. Full of joy, disappointment, accomplishment, awe, fear, discovery and pain and still provide them with a loving safe place to rest and think up new adventures. Here's to new goals: NO more micromanaging the little stuff!
Today i'm thankful for lessons learned from the little ones. Happy Valentines Day!
