A Note to My Hillary Supporter Friends- This is my coming out letter

Hey friends. I have a secret that is going to require you to use all the amazing attributes that I absolutely love about you.  Understanding, acceptance, love, respect.  The truth is that you are some of the most loving people I know but I'm still a little scared to actually come out to you like this.  Maybe it's the posts I've seen all over social media claiming how stupid I am or how racist and bigoted and judgmental I must be.  But right now I need a friend so here it goes.

I voted for Trump.

There it is.  It's out there and I should feel so much better but I'm scared that you will judge me.  That you will treat me differently.  That you will talk about how stupid I am behind my back.  I'm afraid that you now think the worst of me and that I won't be invited to your holiday party and that you definitely won't trust me with your real feelings and that intimacy we once had will be lost.

I had hoped that we could all get along after the election was over.  I had no idea that this election was more important than all our similarities until it has been pointed out to me over and over again in the last 48 hours.

I am sorry that your candidate didn't win.  I feel for you and the disappointment that you are going through.  To tell you the truth, I thought that I would be feeling that disappointment at the end of the night but the country surprised us all didn't it?

And to say I was jumping up and down when my candidate won would be lying.  I am not political and I was not a fan of either candidate for the longest time.  But when it came down to it I had to make a decision that felt good to me.  I value truth and hold that attribute high.  I picked a non-politician for that very reason.   I concluded that the guy stumbling over the right thing to say and down right saying the wrong thing sometimes is actually telling us more of his truth than the professional lawyer that has been trained to persuade for her benefit.  This is why I voted for Trump.  Not because I agree with everything that he says.  But because I feel that he has good intentions and competent people that can accomplish things that are good for America.

I believe that you voted for your candidate for reasons that speak to you and I respect that.  There is obviously something to be said for both candidates to have the country so torn. 

And that brings me to the real reason for this note.  We are friends.  And if I'm not wrong, you want more than anything to have more love, acceptance, and respect in our country.   And I do too.

This nation needs to put aside our different political stances and just be nice to each other.  We need to develop respect for each others differences, deal with differences like adults and adopt a practice of more love and understanding no matter who the president is.  We, the people, make up this country and if there was ever anything that could bind us during this time, it would be love, love for the country and for each other.  

Let's show the world how amazing Americans really are.  Let's show respect for everyone.  Let's believe in the good of everyone.  Let's not judge others for their beliefs.  Let's raise good kids and create a great future because we all know that what happens in our own house is much more important than what happens in the white house.  Let's do this together as friends.

I hope you feel better soon and I love you!

Em

20 Thoughts On Having Six Children

One of the last posts I wrote mentioned how I just wanted to, "leave this year open to a little mystery.  Kind of a feeling of letting the wind take me where it will."  So it seems as if the wind has blown me towards a familiar land...baby island.  

I know it's been a long time since my last post but with good reason.  We found out that we were expecting our sixth child in February of this year.  It was a little bit of a surprise but the best kind we could have imagined.  The expecting and arrival of Thea has been just what our family needed.  

I do realize though... that the idea of a large family is foreign to most people (especially outside of our state) and so I have decided to share: 


20 Thoughts and Facts I've Found on Having Six Children 

1.  Fact:  Surveys in recent years show that less than 2% of families today have 6 kids and .5% of families have 7 kids or more.  This means that I now belong to a very elite and little understood group of super women.

2.  I cannot count the number of times people have stopped me at the store with, "Oh my!  Are they are yours?" or "You have your hands full!"  or my favorite, "Are they all from one father?"  Honestly I enjoy it. There is a sense of accomplishment knowing that I do something every day that few other women can imagine possible and with a smile to boot!

3.   Did you know that those who do have six children are presumed to be very religious or not very educated or both. My husband and I are religious, well-educated, and just love children. (Well at least our children.)

4.  Studies show having six children can be the mark of the eccentric or the genius. The psychologist Alison Gopnik wrote a very fine essay about her brilliant, eccentric parents and the six children they produced, including, besides Alison, her brother Adam, the New Yorker writer, and her brother Blake, the art critic. The novelist and director Galt Niederhoffer is one of six daughters; their father is, according to The New York Times, “one of the most successful (and most idiosyncratic) money managers in the nation.” I claim to be both eccentric and genius.  haha

5.   I am very mindful that many people want more children than they have but have been unable to have them. My hubby and I talk about how lucky we are every day.

6.  We all want to leave something behind when we leave this world and if all else fails I will leave progeny. Not a bad legacy if you ask me.

7.  And I won’t be lonely in old age. Maybe they won’t all love me and take care of me, but the odds are good that one of them will. Maybe two.

8.  I come from a thrifty upbringing which I love and think more people should adopt.  And now, finally, having our cute little sixth addition has given me the power I was lacking before, to instill these beliefs in my kids. 

9.  Up until now I have been in a tug-of-war between the belief of giving my kids things that I didn't have so they wouldn't be deprived or left out, and the belief that sometimes the answer is no and that they will have to earn or wait until its right.  Now I clearly can say no to things we don't need and not feel guilt.   I can explain to the kids that it’s because of our sacrifices that this family works.  We are not like the majority of families.  Sometimes we will have to make sacrifices but we also have things that some other families might not.    This is just one of the many lessons that I think kids can learn from growing up in a large family.

10.   No, I don't like pregnancy, at all. I'm not sentimental about it. I literally told my doctor before I knew that I was pregnant that if I ever was pregnant again it would kill me.  I had to come back two weeks later, tail between my legs, for my first prenatal visit.  I'm not going to lie...everyone in his office had a good laugh about it. 

11.  One of the joys I got during this pregnancy was having everyone ask if this was my first.  I always took it as a compliment and then loved shocking them when I said, "No we have a few more.  This is our sixth."  Always put a smile on my face no matter how awful I was feeling.

12.  One of the unexpected joys of parenting this many kids is that it has given me new reasons to admire my husband.  He is awesome!  I don't think I would have known how amazing he could be if we had only had one or two children.  I tend to take control in the parenting department and it wasn't until I knew I couldn't control all the kids by myself that he blossomed into this amazing dad!  And I give him props for patience.  Patience with me in the early days as I tried to do everything by myself and patience with the kids which include 4 dramatic daughters.

13.  And he was raised to do this job.  His 3 sisters did a very good job of teaching him how to be an awesome, understanding man surrounded by beautiful women. 

14.  Having six kids has opened up a whole new world to me.  People all the time are telling me about how they grew up in a big family, like 8-10 kids, and how they want that too.  These are people I have known for years and we have never had these conversations before.  I'm not sure if it's because people are afraid to admit it until they are with other large families or what but I love being a member of this new club.

15.  I have come up with unique ways to deal with the responsibility.  Sometimes when I get the chance to be in the car alone, I blast the radio in the old minivan and pretend I'm 20 again with no kids.  And sometimes I get mad that I'm in a minivan because it ruins the whole illusion. 

16.  Yes, I am very tired. 

17.  But I use my fatigue like a super power.  It's like the Hulk and his anger.  The secret is that I'm always tired.  You can control it when it’s constantly with you!  I'm not sure what I would do it I was ever well rested. 

18.  There are things I miss about life before parenthood.  Showering without interruptions.  Conversation with the hubs without interruptions.  Sleep without interruptions.  (I'm starting to see a pattern here.)

19.  But those interruptions are the cutest little things ever and most of the time they are jumping into my conversations to tell me something they are so excited about.  Or jumping into my bed because they know I can make it all better.  It's nice to be surrounded by people that still have a lust for life and who need me wholeheartedly.  Someday they won't. 

20.  We're happy!  Yes life can be hectic and weekend dates can't come soon enough, but I would not change it for anything.  Family is everything to me and I have created a life surrounded by what I love most.  There is nothing better than that!

This article was inspired by Mark Oppenheimer's post Forty Thoughts on a Fourth Daughter.  You can read it here.

10 Reasons Why Christmas Is Not For The Weak

Christmas can be filled with joy and excitement but it can also be filled with stress!  Especially for moms.  Here is my ode to the Christmas stresses of my season.  It's all in fun!

The following is a true story.  The names and circumstances have NOT been changed to protect the innocence or add dramatic impact. Tis the season!  :)

Twas the month before Christmas and everything had gone wrong.
Instead of Christmas carols, we were singing our swan song.
The 6 stockings were hung doubled up on 3 hooks.
The other hooks and seventh stocking must have been stolen by crooks.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Until Lillie's came crashing down.  Her feet landed over her head.
The dishwasher had died and the dished piled up.
Now three kids were due for shots and doctor check ups.
When out of no where the telephone rang.
Our Christmas client had cancelled.  No Christmas cash came.
A cancelled family party, and big family fight.
Now the Tree has gone dark, so we re-string the lights.
A broken car windshield, a broken candy dish and there's more.
I still haven received Mila's present at my door.
"THAT'S IT!"  I shout out and throw my hands in the air
"This Christmas is cursed!  I don't even know why I care!"
"The presents, I've wrapped twenty times thanks to Grif
Everyone knows what their getting and I feel a bit miffed!"
Everything I've spent these past few weeks have put me in debt.
All I want is a break, and a KitKat would help I would bet.
So I ran to my room with my hands in my face,
And that's when I felt, all the love in this place.
So things had gone wrong but my family was great.
They did everything to remind me of what was truly on my plate.
Holiday traditions and childhood joy.
Love and excitement as we celebrate the birth of a boy.
Not just a boy but the Everlasting Prince of Peace.
The King of All whose love will not cease.
This year I will focus on the fact that "All is calm, All is bright."
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Haha!  It's been one for the champions but I know I"m not alone.  Merry Christmas to all the mom's stressing during this Christmas season.  I feel you and I got your back!  Go ahead and throw that fit you have been wanting to throw.  It's okay.  You'll still be on the nice list!  I love you!

And honestly, I love this time to be able to focus on the Savior and Family!  The two most important things in my life!  Life is good!

Merry Christmas everyone!  I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas season!

Make Today Amazing!

So it's weird to sit down at my keyboard and not know at all about what I'm about to write.  The blog has been pulling at my fingers like a dog wanting to be petted, but I'm afraid that I'm not sure what to say.

Our summer has rocked so far, filled with new outings, water parks, swim parties, trips to lakes, hikes and awesome shaved ice.

And let's not forget the Fourth.  This Fourth of July was one of the best I have had in the last few years.  I was so happy to be able to share it with my sister Amy and her family who have been across the country in the land of Washington DC for the last 4 years.  And I especially loved the time that I got to share with the Hubby.  Brenden was the perfect date for the Fourth.  To be able to see this man relax and play when usually he works so hard is a joy to see!  It made my day!

 

Since the Fourth though I have been kind of in a funk.  I think it's because Independence Day has always marked the mid point of summer for me and that's a bit depressing.  I know, I know... I complained about the first week of summer in the last post, but I think we got into the groove of it since then and I hate to see it go so fast.  

So I have been watching old seasons of The Amazing Race this summer.  Oh how I love this show!!  If you've read my first post you know how I feel about travel and in a perfect world I would be the girl that dominates the whole race and wins the million dollars.  I'm not sure though, that the mom of five, who occasionally exercises and doesn't ever want to be dropped or dangled off the edge of something extremely high would be that dominator, but who knows.  There were those goat farmers who surprised us all, right?

Anyway, I've been watching it with the kids and there will be times when the teams are in some dirty third world city, sludging through filth to complete a road block that is just emulating what the people of that country do all the time.  Sometimes, the kids will state how they would never be able to do that and I of course chime in with words of wisdom that I hope will fill their heads with ideals of adventure, open-mindedness, and exploration. "Oh yes you can!"  "Can you imagine how it would be to live like this every day?  This is their life and it would be awesome to experience it!"  "It might seem hard to you, but these people do it all the time and look how happy they look!"

Soon I was actually imparting wisdom upon myself.  As I have been watching the show I find myself wishing I could experience all of that.  That's why people like us travel right?  To be able to see all the beautiful differences of this world and to experience how one place can be so differently defined...the good the bad and the ugly.  As I sit on my comfy red sectional, in my air conditioned house, watching my big (really not that big, but I'm trying to make a point here) screen TV,  I long for the chance to be in a hot, smelly village somewhere learning how they gather water for their people.  Why?  Because of  the knowledge I would gain, the experience, and the hidden joys that come from the adventure.  So why can't it be like that in our own life?

I know this is going to take you by surprise, but the life of a mom is not full of nights on the town and fancy clothes, and 5 star hotels.  There are a good number of days where you are sludging through filth, picking up food off the ground and sometimes serving it back to your kids (haha), and abandoning all attempts to look good as you set out to help and serve the locals, constantly learning new techniques (sometimes from the locals, sometimes to help the locals) and hopefully somewhere along the way finding the hidden joys that comes from this way of life.  So I should be jumping up and down with excitement!  I'm living the dream right?  Yes!

Chances are I will never be on The Amazing Race, but I think this month I have learned that this life is my amazing race.  I hope we can always find joy in it's ups and downs, road blocks and detours and be thankful for the opportunity even if we don't leave the race a millionaire.  So go out and try new foods, do new things and love every minute of the time you have.    After all, every adventure is worth while.

Well Hello Spring.

There is just something about spring time...  its magical and entrancing, hopeful and renewing.  It's all the little things and all the big things that I adore.

Every year I try to decide whether spring or summer is my favorite season ( I know, I know, rough decisions I make around here).  I keep rationalizing that it has to be summer because I truly do wish that it could be summer all year round, but you know what?  There is something wonderful about anticipation and progression and that's what spring is to me.

As the warm spring sun shines through the grays of late winter, I start to notice all the amazing little wonders that make up this world and my life.  I very much start to feel grateful as my eyes focus on the determined little buds of flowers poking through the thawing ground.  Life.  It begins again.

I focus on the sweet black lambs that are born to our neighboring farm on the hill.  As I leave my home, I smile as I see them hopping and playing behind their mothers.  Life.  Its playful and new and so full of joy.

Its as if the spring rain just envelopes everything that might have gone wrong and washes it clean saying, "Here, try again."    Life.  It's hopeful and I am so grateful.

Something about spring helps me to slow down and focus on the little miracles of life and for that I must always choose spring!  Summer is my vacation, but spring is my life.

Well hello Spring!