Thursday, January 30, 2014

If it works for Watson, it works for me

January is a bitter month.  It's full of hope and disappointment as New Years resolutions come and go.  This dreaded month is riddled, at least where I am, with awful cold depressing weather.  And to top it off,  the nag of extra bills from spoiling our five extremely awesome kids during Christmas.

When Brenden and I were first married and I worked for an airline, we always tried to take a trip during January, just to escape from the reality that warm weather was months down the road.  Now that we have the littles and school and responsibilities, we can't always run away.  In fact we hardly ever get to run away.

  So I end up spending a lot of time during the first month of the new year planning amazing trips that will more than likely not happen til our youngest is in high school.  It's nice though, really.  I'm an optimist in every sense of the word and planning the trip only makes me think that the possibility of going is just that much closer and when I do get to go somewhere I will already have pages and pages of ideas for what to do and where to go.  I am a traveler at heart.

But planning imaginary vacations is not the only way I spend January.  I also spend endless hours thinking up home improvements and projects.  There's something about being locked inside my home for hours on end during the winter months that make me realize how much I want to change things. This year I have been completely obsessed with remodeling our kitchen.  And not the traditional way of hiring a professional and ordering cabinets and counter tops.  No, that is just not how I am wired.  Complete waste of money.  No. Even though I am not a professional plumber, carpenter, or electrician, I for some reason always feel that Brenden and I can do it all with no problem!  Ha!  Sometimes I'm right and sometimes I'm wrong.

That brings us to this week, as I climbed up into our attic to check out the trusses of our house.
You see, my grande dream was to raise the ceiling and knock down a wall between our kitchen and our hallway.  It would open up the entire floor and give us so much room to entertain.   I have spent hours sketching out all the details and dimensions.  It was perfect.  Well, total disappointment set in when I poked my head inside the attic opening and saw the insane amount of trusses supporting my home.   No way to vault that ceiling without major cash droppage.  Not to mention the fact that the wall I wanted to remove was, of course, a load bearing wall.  I kinda figured it was but the optimism had taken over and had guaranteed me that it would be fine.  It was not fine.  Bummer. (but only for a second as my optimism and I unitedly started working on another plan.  It will still be okay.)

It's for the best anyway.  Less temptation.  The truth is the money really should and will be going to Mila's braces and a very used second car.  Boring alternatives considering the adventures I was planning, but I guess that's what being a parent is.  Sacrificing for the people you love.  They are part of the reason I'm writing this blog.

As I stood in the shower contemplating life and drawing pictures in the fogged shower walls, I started thinking about how grateful I am for everything in my life.  Sometimes I want to shout it from the rooftops I'm so thankful, but I have failed to find an audience for that.  I am not the most sharing person when it comes to my feelings.  Not because I don't want to share, I just sometimes forget that people might like to know more.  I'm used to keeping it to myself.  But as I was standing there in the steam of the shower I got the idea to start a blog.  I could get back into writing and express my gratitude for all the joys in my life.  The more I thought about it the more sense that it made.  Many of the frustrations that I have been feeling lately were coming from the idea that people around me knew nothing about who I really am.  And on top of that I felt like they also knew nothing about how extremely awesome my husband is.

 It was in an episode of "Sherlock" where I heard the brilliant idea that blogging would be good therapy for letting people in and expressing yourself (hey, if it works for Watson, it works for me).  So here I am and I hope that this blog can help me express the amount of joy I receive from my wonderful adventures as mom of 5 crazy munchkins and wife to the most caring, honest, and unbelievably perfect man around.  Just call me Lucky Mrs.... or Emily.  Emily works!  :)

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