Tips for Feeding a Large Family Without Using Coupons | Big Family Living

I have nothing but love and respect for all you fabulous couponing mommies.  You are organized, all planned out, filling your cart to the brim and saving hundreds of dollars without even a bead of sweat on your forehead.  It really sounds lovely.  But it also sounds something like the families you see on TV.  They are close to reality so you think, "I can be like that!" but when you look closer you sadly realize that this scenario could never be a reality in this life.  My reality looks more like one of those old shopping game shows where you dash up and down the rows as quickly as possible.  Manically grabbing everything on my list, hoping to beat the buzzer... the nerve wracking cry of the baby.  And if I can get all the way to the end of my list before the three year old lets go of the cart and jumps into the frozen food fridges, it's like I've won the Olympic Gold Medal for the Grocery Store Dash.

Honestly, though, I wish I had the time to coupon and I do save a few coupons here and there for items I use all the time, but I've just accepted the fact that couponing is not going to happen for me.  That being said, I have made a list of ways you can save money on the bags and bags of food it takes to feed a big family without the prep work of coupons.  Let's get started:


Make a Menu

This is the most important thing you can do.  It does take some time, but it is so worth it.  You need to sit down and plan out your family's breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack menu for each and every day.


Obey 

The Menu Like Its The Bible

Okay so there can be a little wiggle room, but to make the biggest impact you really should just stick to the menu.  For me this means just buying the ingredients for the meals and snacks on the list.  I don't buy anything else.  Nothing!  And I don't let anyone treat my kitchen like an all night diner, coming in and ordering snacks and meals at all hours of the night.  They get what is put in front of them on the table and that's it.  There was a time I was even writing the snacks for the day on the food board and they couldn't even choose their snack.  I know... crazy.  I have since relaxed a little bit now that the kids have gotten older, but I still have a mental list of the snacks I have planned and when they are gone, no more snacks.


Buy Generic

Okay I will agree that there are some products that you just need to get the name brand, but I can't think of too many.  There are so many great store brand items that taste fantastic and many actually come from the same factory as the name brands.  I love buying generic!  This love has been the biggest reason why I don't use coupons.  Coupons will give you a discount on just the name brands and you almost always need to buy two or more to get the same kind of discount that you get from just picking up the generic version.  'Nuf said.


Shop Around

For awhile I bought everything at Walmart because they will price match and I really thought it was great to get all my shopping done in one place.  It still is a great idea, but for my situation, I have noticed I can get better groceries and better deals by shopping around.  Yes it is a bit of a pain but totally worth it for me.  For example, I will hit the big warehouse stores, like Sam's Club for my bread, bananas, milk, butter, and some meat and cheese products.  They have great prices and quantities that meet my large family needs.  I can really get better deals at my favorite grocery store for everything else so then I walk away.  This is where I have to be strong.  It is tough but you can do it ladies.  My next stop is where I get most of my groceries.  Its the store in town with the best produce, great employees, and great prices.  If by chance something on my list is terribly over priced here, then I take it to my final store, Walmart.  I always hit Walmart for my Popcorn and Graham Crackers because they are so much less expensive there.  I also get whatever items were not priced well or available at the last store.  I will use an app like Scan Life or PriceGrabber to compare prices on the items I need now and Walmart will match the lowest price.  I have been using this system for years now and have saved even more than I could have with coupons I swear.


Limit The Amount of Times You Eat Out, Including Hubby's Lunches

Making meals for my husband has been something that I have been dragging my feet about for years.  I know it is healthier and money saving, but I just have so much that I'm already doing that it  seemed...just hard.  That would mean adding another 7 meals to my menu plan.  And more shopping, ugh.  But I can say that I have been making Brenden's meals for a few weeks now and it really does save on money.  It takes a little time to get in the habit, but it does make a difference.
Besides just my husband's lunches, I also try to make sure I'm around in the evenings to make dinner whenever possible.  There are always days when it just doesn't work and you need to grab a pizza, but nowadays I try to schedule in the days that we eat out as a family to make sure that we don't spend too much.

Try these ideas out and let me know what tips you have as well.  I would love to see what other super moms do.

20 Thoughts On Having Six Children

One of the last posts I wrote mentioned how I just wanted to, "leave this year open to a little mystery.  Kind of a feeling of letting the wind take me where it will."  So it seems as if the wind has blown me towards a familiar land...baby island.  

I know it's been a long time since my last post but with good reason.  We found out that we were expecting our sixth child in February of this year.  It was a little bit of a surprise but the best kind we could have imagined.  The expecting and arrival of Thea has been just what our family needed.  

I do realize though... that the idea of a large family is foreign to most people (especially outside of our state) and so I have decided to share: 


20 Thoughts and Facts I've Found on Having Six Children 

1.  Fact:  Surveys in recent years show that less than 2% of families today have 6 kids and .5% of families have 7 kids or more.  This means that I now belong to a very elite and little understood group of super women.

2.  I cannot count the number of times people have stopped me at the store with, "Oh my!  Are they are yours?" or "You have your hands full!"  or my favorite, "Are they all from one father?"  Honestly I enjoy it. There is a sense of accomplishment knowing that I do something every day that few other women can imagine possible and with a smile to boot!

3.   Did you know that those who do have six children are presumed to be very religious or not very educated or both. My husband and I are religious, well-educated, and just love children. (Well at least our children.)

4.  Studies show having six children can be the mark of the eccentric or the genius. The psychologist Alison Gopnik wrote a very fine essay about her brilliant, eccentric parents and the six children they produced, including, besides Alison, her brother Adam, the New Yorker writer, and her brother Blake, the art critic. The novelist and director Galt Niederhoffer is one of six daughters; their father is, according to The New York Times, “one of the most successful (and most idiosyncratic) money managers in the nation.” I claim to be both eccentric and genius.  haha

5.   I am very mindful that many people want more children than they have but have been unable to have them. My hubby and I talk about how lucky we are every day.

6.  We all want to leave something behind when we leave this world and if all else fails I will leave progeny. Not a bad legacy if you ask me.

7.  And I won’t be lonely in old age. Maybe they won’t all love me and take care of me, but the odds are good that one of them will. Maybe two.

8.  I come from a thrifty upbringing which I love and think more people should adopt.  And now, finally, having our cute little sixth addition has given me the power I was lacking before, to instill these beliefs in my kids. 

9.  Up until now I have been in a tug-of-war between the belief of giving my kids things that I didn't have so they wouldn't be deprived or left out, and the belief that sometimes the answer is no and that they will have to earn or wait until its right.  Now I clearly can say no to things we don't need and not feel guilt.   I can explain to the kids that it’s because of our sacrifices that this family works.  We are not like the majority of families.  Sometimes we will have to make sacrifices but we also have things that some other families might not.    This is just one of the many lessons that I think kids can learn from growing up in a large family.

10.   No, I don't like pregnancy, at all. I'm not sentimental about it. I literally told my doctor before I knew that I was pregnant that if I ever was pregnant again it would kill me.  I had to come back two weeks later, tail between my legs, for my first prenatal visit.  I'm not going to lie...everyone in his office had a good laugh about it. 

11.  One of the joys I got during this pregnancy was having everyone ask if this was my first.  I always took it as a compliment and then loved shocking them when I said, "No we have a few more.  This is our sixth."  Always put a smile on my face no matter how awful I was feeling.

12.  One of the unexpected joys of parenting this many kids is that it has given me new reasons to admire my husband.  He is awesome!  I don't think I would have known how amazing he could be if we had only had one or two children.  I tend to take control in the parenting department and it wasn't until I knew I couldn't control all the kids by myself that he blossomed into this amazing dad!  And I give him props for patience.  Patience with me in the early days as I tried to do everything by myself and patience with the kids which include 4 dramatic daughters.

13.  And he was raised to do this job.  His 3 sisters did a very good job of teaching him how to be an awesome, understanding man surrounded by beautiful women. 

14.  Having six kids has opened up a whole new world to me.  People all the time are telling me about how they grew up in a big family, like 8-10 kids, and how they want that too.  These are people I have known for years and we have never had these conversations before.  I'm not sure if it's because people are afraid to admit it until they are with other large families or what but I love being a member of this new club.

15.  I have come up with unique ways to deal with the responsibility.  Sometimes when I get the chance to be in the car alone, I blast the radio in the old minivan and pretend I'm 20 again with no kids.  And sometimes I get mad that I'm in a minivan because it ruins the whole illusion. 

16.  Yes, I am very tired. 

17.  But I use my fatigue like a super power.  It's like the Hulk and his anger.  The secret is that I'm always tired.  You can control it when it’s constantly with you!  I'm not sure what I would do it I was ever well rested. 

18.  There are things I miss about life before parenthood.  Showering without interruptions.  Conversation with the hubs without interruptions.  Sleep without interruptions.  (I'm starting to see a pattern here.)

19.  But those interruptions are the cutest little things ever and most of the time they are jumping into my conversations to tell me something they are so excited about.  Or jumping into my bed because they know I can make it all better.  It's nice to be surrounded by people that still have a lust for life and who need me wholeheartedly.  Someday they won't. 

20.  We're happy!  Yes life can be hectic and weekend dates can't come soon enough, but I would not change it for anything.  Family is everything to me and I have created a life surrounded by what I love most.  There is nothing better than that!

This article was inspired by Mark Oppenheimer's post Forty Thoughts on a Fourth Daughter.  You can read it here.

A picture is worth a thousand words but this one is worth so much more

Ahh... It's amazing what a good vacation can do for the mind.  It's as if you have been struggling to see out this clouded window and then someone comes along with windex and voila!  It all becomes clear.

The sunshine has cleared my foggy window!  This last week I was able to spend a few days in beautiful Southern California with our fabulous nine year old Lillie, our uncontrollably cute 18month old Griffin and my wonderful, amazing mom.  (All because of my mom I must add.)  My mom has been more than generous to our kids this year and has given each of them a trip for their birthdays.  Not only has this been an awesome gift for the kids but its been great for me as well.  Finding one on one time with each of my five kids is almost impossible and to be able to spend a couple days with just one beautiful baby is a real blessing to have.

This last trip was packed full of memories!  Amazing swimming pool, fun modern hotel, cute little rental car, unforgettable beach fun, Hollywood, Sea World, Cinco de Mayo in Old Town San Diego.  SO much fun and priceless opportunities with my sweet Lillie.

But lets talk a little about our time at the beach. Sunday morning bright and early we arrived at my all time favorite Cali beach, The Montage.  Gorgeous.  The bright hibiscuses and birds of paradise steadily growing along the rocky edge of the sea cliffs.  Framed ever so perfectly by the towering waving palm trees, the seascape is flawless right down to its picturesque sea arch.  One of the reasons I love this place so much is because of how clean and naturally beautiful it is.  The rocks that jet from the sandy beach create tiny little worlds full of crabs and sea urchins that my kids adore.  Especially Lillie.

We were so excited to show our secret place to my mom.  I agreed to let Lillie guide her through the rocks and crevices as I stayed on the sand with rambunctious little Griffin.

I secretly enjoyed watching as my baby discovered the beach, knowing that Lillie would be fine with my mom.  After awhile of discovering the rocks nearby, Lillie wanted us all to check what kind of wildlife was on the neighboring rocks.  She was afraid that I was missing out.

We all set off to the next outpost of sea cliffs.  I struggled to walk on the uneven ground in my wedge sandals  (yeah i know, what was I thinking) and being pulled by a stumbling 18 month old didn't help.  We came to a crevice in the rock that lead down to the ocean.  It wasn't that big, but large enough that I needed to pick up Griffin to carry him over the opening.  As I crossed the gap I noticed how beautiful it was.  A line of oval openings,like a beaded necklace that lead to the open sea.  What an amazing photo this would be.  With Griffin still in hand, I fished out my phone to capture the sight.  I got a pretty good picture but needed to try again.  It just wasn't good enough.

As I readjusted the phone, Griffin decided to struggle in my arms.  He hit my arm and just like that the phone fell to the hard rocky ground.  Upset by the fact that I would have to bend over and pick it up with him in my arms as I balanced in my high heels, I didn't foresee what was about to happen.  That is until the man next to me began to yell, "Oh your phone!  Grab it!"  As I looked down I saw the final living moments of my phone as it slowly slid into the last opening on the beaded necklace, onto the sandy ocean floor.

 At first there was hope (because there always is with us optimists). The wave had not yet come in.  The sand was dry.   But just seconds later the water crashed into the cave below, taking my phone with it.  The phone crashed up against the rough edges of the stone over and over again as a crowd gathered above, hoping to catch a glimpse and looking for some way to save it.  It was no use.  And it was weird really.  I didn't actually understand the magnitude of what had happened.  I felt like a child that had broke something expensive and didn't realize, until others were yelling at her, what a mistake she had made.

And then the understanding came and it came in layers.  I was hundreds of miles away from home with no lifeline.  Lillie's Seaworld ticket was stored on my phone.  All the pictures that I had taken were gone.  No more contacts.  Lost text messages with important information.  No extra money to get a new one because I had spent all my extra money on this trip.

The weight started to get heavy.  Really heavy and I had to take a step back and try to bring myself to a happy place so we could enjoy the rest of our vacation.  We all were feeling the pain of loss, but we were also all feeling something else.  Gratitude that is wasn't Griffin that had fallen.  It very well could have been.  No one realized what an unobtainable hole it was until the phone was there and we had no way to get it without ourselves being put in extreme danger.  The gratitude from those thoughts helped.

As we walked along the sandy beach that holds those jagged cliffs, a memorable moment occurred.  Out of nowhere my mom called out, "Your phone!" and headed straight off into the water before I could even realize what was happening.  Leaving behind her a trail of flipflops, personal belongings, and a purse, she ran towards the bright green spot on the sandy ocean bottom.  Watching my mom as she darted out into more danger, fully clothed and about to take on a wave and unforgiving rocks, my heart was filled to the brim with love and appreciation for this crazy woman.  She dove down into the water just microseconds before a wave came that surely would have slammed her into the rocks and all I could do was watch in awe.  So this is what motherly love is.  You risk your life for a piece of worthless metal, not because you thought about it before hand, not because it made sense, but just because you knew it would make your child feel better.  That moment resonated throughout the rest of the trip and I feel so much gratitude for my mom.  I could never doubt that my mom wouldn't do anything for the happiness of her children.

Besides the craziness of that day, our trip was flawless.  Everything was perfect and I will remember it always.  That one moment will be shared throughout the years and I feel so lucky to have been able to live through it!  This blog post is dedicate to my sweet mom.  Not just for this one moment but for all the times when she has put us kids first to guarantee our happiness!  I love you mom and I am so grateful for you!  Happy Mother's Day!

(These pictures, by the way, are from the memory card that was in the camera.  We wouldn't have any of them if it wasn't for you mom!)