Tips for Feeding a Large Family Without Using Coupons | Big Family Living

I have nothing but love and respect for all you fabulous couponing mommies.  You are organized, all planned out, filling your cart to the brim and saving hundreds of dollars without even a bead of sweat on your forehead.  It really sounds lovely.  But it also sounds something like the families you see on TV.  They are close to reality so you think, "I can be like that!" but when you look closer you sadly realize that this scenario could never be a reality in this life.  My reality looks more like one of those old shopping game shows where you dash up and down the rows as quickly as possible.  Manically grabbing everything on my list, hoping to beat the buzzer... the nerve wracking cry of the baby.  And if I can get all the way to the end of my list before the three year old lets go of the cart and jumps into the frozen food fridges, it's like I've won the Olympic Gold Medal for the Grocery Store Dash.

Honestly, though, I wish I had the time to coupon and I do save a few coupons here and there for items I use all the time, but I've just accepted the fact that couponing is not going to happen for me.  That being said, I have made a list of ways you can save money on the bags and bags of food it takes to feed a big family without the prep work of coupons.  Let's get started:


Make a Menu

This is the most important thing you can do.  It does take some time, but it is so worth it.  You need to sit down and plan out your family's breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack menu for each and every day.


Obey 

The Menu Like Its The Bible

Okay so there can be a little wiggle room, but to make the biggest impact you really should just stick to the menu.  For me this means just buying the ingredients for the meals and snacks on the list.  I don't buy anything else.  Nothing!  And I don't let anyone treat my kitchen like an all night diner, coming in and ordering snacks and meals at all hours of the night.  They get what is put in front of them on the table and that's it.  There was a time I was even writing the snacks for the day on the food board and they couldn't even choose their snack.  I know... crazy.  I have since relaxed a little bit now that the kids have gotten older, but I still have a mental list of the snacks I have planned and when they are gone, no more snacks.


Buy Generic

Okay I will agree that there are some products that you just need to get the name brand, but I can't think of too many.  There are so many great store brand items that taste fantastic and many actually come from the same factory as the name brands.  I love buying generic!  This love has been the biggest reason why I don't use coupons.  Coupons will give you a discount on just the name brands and you almost always need to buy two or more to get the same kind of discount that you get from just picking up the generic version.  'Nuf said.


Shop Around

For awhile I bought everything at Walmart because they will price match and I really thought it was great to get all my shopping done in one place.  It still is a great idea, but for my situation, I have noticed I can get better groceries and better deals by shopping around.  Yes it is a bit of a pain but totally worth it for me.  For example, I will hit the big warehouse stores, like Sam's Club for my bread, bananas, milk, butter, and some meat and cheese products.  They have great prices and quantities that meet my large family needs.  I can really get better deals at my favorite grocery store for everything else so then I walk away.  This is where I have to be strong.  It is tough but you can do it ladies.  My next stop is where I get most of my groceries.  Its the store in town with the best produce, great employees, and great prices.  If by chance something on my list is terribly over priced here, then I take it to my final store, Walmart.  I always hit Walmart for my Popcorn and Graham Crackers because they are so much less expensive there.  I also get whatever items were not priced well or available at the last store.  I will use an app like Scan Life or PriceGrabber to compare prices on the items I need now and Walmart will match the lowest price.  I have been using this system for years now and have saved even more than I could have with coupons I swear.


Limit The Amount of Times You Eat Out, Including Hubby's Lunches

Making meals for my husband has been something that I have been dragging my feet about for years.  I know it is healthier and money saving, but I just have so much that I'm already doing that it  seemed...just hard.  That would mean adding another 7 meals to my menu plan.  And more shopping, ugh.  But I can say that I have been making Brenden's meals for a few weeks now and it really does save on money.  It takes a little time to get in the habit, but it does make a difference.
Besides just my husband's lunches, I also try to make sure I'm around in the evenings to make dinner whenever possible.  There are always days when it just doesn't work and you need to grab a pizza, but nowadays I try to schedule in the days that we eat out as a family to make sure that we don't spend too much.

Try these ideas out and let me know what tips you have as well.  I would love to see what other super moms do.

20 Thoughts On Having Six Children

One of the last posts I wrote mentioned how I just wanted to, "leave this year open to a little mystery.  Kind of a feeling of letting the wind take me where it will."  So it seems as if the wind has blown me towards a familiar land...baby island.  

I know it's been a long time since my last post but with good reason.  We found out that we were expecting our sixth child in February of this year.  It was a little bit of a surprise but the best kind we could have imagined.  The expecting and arrival of Thea has been just what our family needed.  

I do realize though... that the idea of a large family is foreign to most people (especially outside of our state) and so I have decided to share: 


20 Thoughts and Facts I've Found on Having Six Children 

1.  Fact:  Surveys in recent years show that less than 2% of families today have 6 kids and .5% of families have 7 kids or more.  This means that I now belong to a very elite and little understood group of super women.

2.  I cannot count the number of times people have stopped me at the store with, "Oh my!  Are they are yours?" or "You have your hands full!"  or my favorite, "Are they all from one father?"  Honestly I enjoy it. There is a sense of accomplishment knowing that I do something every day that few other women can imagine possible and with a smile to boot!

3.   Did you know that those who do have six children are presumed to be very religious or not very educated or both. My husband and I are religious, well-educated, and just love children. (Well at least our children.)

4.  Studies show having six children can be the mark of the eccentric or the genius. The psychologist Alison Gopnik wrote a very fine essay about her brilliant, eccentric parents and the six children they produced, including, besides Alison, her brother Adam, the New Yorker writer, and her brother Blake, the art critic. The novelist and director Galt Niederhoffer is one of six daughters; their father is, according to The New York Times, “one of the most successful (and most idiosyncratic) money managers in the nation.” I claim to be both eccentric and genius.  haha

5.   I am very mindful that many people want more children than they have but have been unable to have them. My hubby and I talk about how lucky we are every day.

6.  We all want to leave something behind when we leave this world and if all else fails I will leave progeny. Not a bad legacy if you ask me.

7.  And I won’t be lonely in old age. Maybe they won’t all love me and take care of me, but the odds are good that one of them will. Maybe two.

8.  I come from a thrifty upbringing which I love and think more people should adopt.  And now, finally, having our cute little sixth addition has given me the power I was lacking before, to instill these beliefs in my kids. 

9.  Up until now I have been in a tug-of-war between the belief of giving my kids things that I didn't have so they wouldn't be deprived or left out, and the belief that sometimes the answer is no and that they will have to earn or wait until its right.  Now I clearly can say no to things we don't need and not feel guilt.   I can explain to the kids that it’s because of our sacrifices that this family works.  We are not like the majority of families.  Sometimes we will have to make sacrifices but we also have things that some other families might not.    This is just one of the many lessons that I think kids can learn from growing up in a large family.

10.   No, I don't like pregnancy, at all. I'm not sentimental about it. I literally told my doctor before I knew that I was pregnant that if I ever was pregnant again it would kill me.  I had to come back two weeks later, tail between my legs, for my first prenatal visit.  I'm not going to lie...everyone in his office had a good laugh about it. 

11.  One of the joys I got during this pregnancy was having everyone ask if this was my first.  I always took it as a compliment and then loved shocking them when I said, "No we have a few more.  This is our sixth."  Always put a smile on my face no matter how awful I was feeling.

12.  One of the unexpected joys of parenting this many kids is that it has given me new reasons to admire my husband.  He is awesome!  I don't think I would have known how amazing he could be if we had only had one or two children.  I tend to take control in the parenting department and it wasn't until I knew I couldn't control all the kids by myself that he blossomed into this amazing dad!  And I give him props for patience.  Patience with me in the early days as I tried to do everything by myself and patience with the kids which include 4 dramatic daughters.

13.  And he was raised to do this job.  His 3 sisters did a very good job of teaching him how to be an awesome, understanding man surrounded by beautiful women. 

14.  Having six kids has opened up a whole new world to me.  People all the time are telling me about how they grew up in a big family, like 8-10 kids, and how they want that too.  These are people I have known for years and we have never had these conversations before.  I'm not sure if it's because people are afraid to admit it until they are with other large families or what but I love being a member of this new club.

15.  I have come up with unique ways to deal with the responsibility.  Sometimes when I get the chance to be in the car alone, I blast the radio in the old minivan and pretend I'm 20 again with no kids.  And sometimes I get mad that I'm in a minivan because it ruins the whole illusion. 

16.  Yes, I am very tired. 

17.  But I use my fatigue like a super power.  It's like the Hulk and his anger.  The secret is that I'm always tired.  You can control it when it’s constantly with you!  I'm not sure what I would do it I was ever well rested. 

18.  There are things I miss about life before parenthood.  Showering without interruptions.  Conversation with the hubs without interruptions.  Sleep without interruptions.  (I'm starting to see a pattern here.)

19.  But those interruptions are the cutest little things ever and most of the time they are jumping into my conversations to tell me something they are so excited about.  Or jumping into my bed because they know I can make it all better.  It's nice to be surrounded by people that still have a lust for life and who need me wholeheartedly.  Someday they won't. 

20.  We're happy!  Yes life can be hectic and weekend dates can't come soon enough, but I would not change it for anything.  Family is everything to me and I have created a life surrounded by what I love most.  There is nothing better than that!

This article was inspired by Mark Oppenheimer's post Forty Thoughts on a Fourth Daughter.  You can read it here.

Make Today Amazing!

So it's weird to sit down at my keyboard and not know at all about what I'm about to write.  The blog has been pulling at my fingers like a dog wanting to be petted, but I'm afraid that I'm not sure what to say.

Our summer has rocked so far, filled with new outings, water parks, swim parties, trips to lakes, hikes and awesome shaved ice.

And let's not forget the Fourth.  This Fourth of July was one of the best I have had in the last few years.  I was so happy to be able to share it with my sister Amy and her family who have been across the country in the land of Washington DC for the last 4 years.  And I especially loved the time that I got to share with the Hubby.  Brenden was the perfect date for the Fourth.  To be able to see this man relax and play when usually he works so hard is a joy to see!  It made my day!

 

Since the Fourth though I have been kind of in a funk.  I think it's because Independence Day has always marked the mid point of summer for me and that's a bit depressing.  I know, I know... I complained about the first week of summer in the last post, but I think we got into the groove of it since then and I hate to see it go so fast.  

So I have been watching old seasons of The Amazing Race this summer.  Oh how I love this show!!  If you've read my first post you know how I feel about travel and in a perfect world I would be the girl that dominates the whole race and wins the million dollars.  I'm not sure though, that the mom of five, who occasionally exercises and doesn't ever want to be dropped or dangled off the edge of something extremely high would be that dominator, but who knows.  There were those goat farmers who surprised us all, right?

Anyway, I've been watching it with the kids and there will be times when the teams are in some dirty third world city, sludging through filth to complete a road block that is just emulating what the people of that country do all the time.  Sometimes, the kids will state how they would never be able to do that and I of course chime in with words of wisdom that I hope will fill their heads with ideals of adventure, open-mindedness, and exploration. "Oh yes you can!"  "Can you imagine how it would be to live like this every day?  This is their life and it would be awesome to experience it!"  "It might seem hard to you, but these people do it all the time and look how happy they look!"

Soon I was actually imparting wisdom upon myself.  As I have been watching the show I find myself wishing I could experience all of that.  That's why people like us travel right?  To be able to see all the beautiful differences of this world and to experience how one place can be so differently defined...the good the bad and the ugly.  As I sit on my comfy red sectional, in my air conditioned house, watching my big (really not that big, but I'm trying to make a point here) screen TV,  I long for the chance to be in a hot, smelly village somewhere learning how they gather water for their people.  Why?  Because of  the knowledge I would gain, the experience, and the hidden joys that come from the adventure.  So why can't it be like that in our own life?

I know this is going to take you by surprise, but the life of a mom is not full of nights on the town and fancy clothes, and 5 star hotels.  There are a good number of days where you are sludging through filth, picking up food off the ground and sometimes serving it back to your kids (haha), and abandoning all attempts to look good as you set out to help and serve the locals, constantly learning new techniques (sometimes from the locals, sometimes to help the locals) and hopefully somewhere along the way finding the hidden joys that comes from this way of life.  So I should be jumping up and down with excitement!  I'm living the dream right?  Yes!

Chances are I will never be on The Amazing Race, but I think this month I have learned that this life is my amazing race.  I hope we can always find joy in it's ups and downs, road blocks and detours and be thankful for the opportunity even if we don't leave the race a millionaire.  So go out and try new foods, do new things and love every minute of the time you have.    After all, every adventure is worth while.

Things do get better with age

So it was my birthday last week. Not the best birthday (35 ugh) but I did get a bunch of birthday cash (money, yay).  So this week I've been spending it all up on a variety of home projects.   I know I know.  Some girls buy shoes. Some girls get their hair done. I buy spray paint and staples.

The first thing on my list was our rusty old swing set that came with the house.  As much as I would LOVE to tear it down, cement over the entire sandbox and put in a killer hot tub, my kids still enjoy it.  So I pulled myself out of my imaginary tub, soaking in the toasty water, breathing in the misty night air, fingers still wrinkled like a raisin and took some money, bought some spray paint and went to town.

It didn't actually turn out as fabulous as I had planned but at least the rust is now covered up.

So on to the next thing on the list:  Kitchen Curtains.

Let me preface this by saying my house has fifty shades of gray in it.  No... not the book, but actual gray.  And I do realize that I need to add some color. So I researched it as much as I could handle on Pinterest and decided that I wanted orange curtains.  They're gorgeous.  If you don't believe me just look it up.  Seriously.  But to find a pair of perfect orange curtains is hard.  Like really hard.  I had decided that the only way to get what I want is to buy the fabric and make them myself.  Yay fun project!  So I wrestled my little 18 month old into the car seat, threw a ponytail on my sweet 5 year olds head and set out for Hobby Lobby.

Well we got there and they didn't have just what I was looking for.  Bummer.  I had come to the conclusion that I would have to take the orange fabric and the neutral fabric I found and sew them together in stripes to get close to the look I was hoping for.  As I'm planning this it starts seeming like a bigger and bigger project as I'm exhausting myself just trying to contain my children into those insanely small blue shopping carts.  Kate is filling up the cart with every kind of fabric bolt she can find and Griffin is constantly fighting me to leave the confinement of the seatbelt.  AHH!

So I drag my cart off to the side, trying to remove our circus act from the fabric area and I turned down the closest aisle, and low and behold (choir singing)...curtains.  Pre-made, stress-free, and 50 percent off curtains.  Now were they orange?  No.  Were they any color?  Not unless you count beige and gray as a color.  But without the right mind to take a step back and contemplate what I really want, I tried to make a rational decision while dealing with the chaos of my children crying and yelling and starting a fire under our cart. (only kidding)

So what did I decide?  I bought the curtains.  I came up with the lovely idea that I could use the money I saved to get fabric for a chair I have been meaning to reupholster.  Just to let you know, I've been meaning to reupholster it for about 6 years now and I've never done it before so...maybe not the best decision.

Anyway, when I got home and could let the natives run free, I started to feel buyers remorse.  WHY DIDN'T I GO ORANGE!?  I really really wanted the orange.  And I might have even ended up in the corner of my kitchen crying because when I asked the hubs about the purchased curtains he said they looked like zebra print.  Zebra print?!  Really?!  Ahh!  And I possibly might have started freaking out because I spent the majority of my money on a re upholstery project that I had no idea what I was doing.  Yeah it was a good time.

Well, long story short...Everything turned out great.

My amazing hubby helped me hang the zebra print curtains and completely made it possible for me to start and finish the  overwhelming chair re upholstery.  He spent hours helping me pull all the stupid staples out of the chair, took pictures of the process so I could reference it when I put it back together and when my staples wouldn't work in my staple gun, he ran down to Home Depot, ten minutes before it was closing and bought me a new gun and about a million staples.  He is THE BEST!!!  My Hero!

And here it is... It's not perfect, but I survived.  I kept thinking if other women can do this then I can do this.  It started out kind of rough, but the truth is that once the staples are removed the rest is cake and so rewarding.  Anyone can definitely do this.  This week I am grateful for a patient, understanding, and helpful husband and I am also grateful for everyone that was able to celebrate my birthday with me and help me have an overall great week.

Love you guys!

Just a note about boys and men

The last few weeks I've had the joy of picking up the kids from school because they might be a little spoiled  and "cant walk in the cold snow".  haha.  Being there everyday, I have started noticing a few things.

 For example, the mom who puts handsanitizer on her gloved hands before and after she enters the school  and who knows how many times in between.

or The grandpa, that at first glance looks like a creeper that should be reported for lurking around the school but who turns into a little child himself when his two grand kids come running to him.

 or The large amount of stick figure families on the back of the herd of mini vans.  Ugh.

But the thing that got me really thinking was what happens after the bell rings. I started to notice that as the bell tolled, the first kids to come bounding out those doors everyday were always joyful little boys.  They did not just mosey out of the school, but exploded out with laughter and freedom on their faces.  They were free!  They had done their time and were now on to better things!  I started to think, "what a shame that these creatures are the same ones that would be required to spend their days couped up in an office, day in and day out, as they got older and took on the responsibility of being a supporter."

These days a lot of little boys have grown up and decided to continue being little boys.  College enrollment for males has dropped significantly during the last few years and the amount of dads walking away from the responsibilities of raising their children is staggering.  A problem us moms need to help eradicate in the future.

But Today I am thankful for the men in my life that have decided to take on the mantle of manhood.  To take responsibility for their actions, and to work hard every day to support themselves and their families.  To continue their education and learn not only the things they need to help their careers, but also to learn the things that will help the world: ethics, manners, and respect.  Namely, I am so thankful for my husband and how hard he works to keep me and the five littles happy.   And thank you to all the other men out there that are doing the same so that this world will be a little better for my children.